Lay me down...dust to dust, ashes to ashes...

It's a day, or rather a whole damn week of doubts, uncertainty and confusion. I still got so many questions to ask. Call me an emotional wreck, I don't care! I need answers!
Is your love so surface? So superficial?
What if one day I were to get seriously sunburnt? Dark skin, yucks right? You hate it right? What if one day I were to get really hurt, get sick, get fat?!
Would you still unconditionally love me? Would you still take care of me for the rest of your life?
Is your words and heart for real? I can't read, can't tell. I can only base on blind faith in you. Trust me, my road is tough, I'm stumbling blindly in the darkness with hands stretch out, hoping to finally be able to grasp something more solid, or maybe a glimpse of light out there, somewhere.
You said I've changed, mellowed down. Really? What if I'm just tired? Tired of wanting and hoping for something that I really don't think you're able to give. Don't worry, I'll not do things I'm not supposed to cuz I know it HURTS!!
I hate the world, my world. I want my solidity, my foundation....but where?
I'm a rock, solid, firm and trustworthy. You need me, I'll always be there, never failing. But this rock is crumbling, I need someone to hold the pieces together too..
Wanna get really really drunk, haven't done that for so long. I'm mature and realistic enough to know it's just running away from problems, but pls, let me be stupid for a day, let me put down my defences for just one night, let me get real and roaring drunk, let me fall unconscious and slip out of this world for just this night. Let me lay down my heavy armour of responsibility and defence and be truly truly bare for once.....pls...I am so tired.